Authenticity, to me, is having unwavering confidence in who you are, past, present, and future. It is choosing yourself over performance, even when the world rewards imitation.
I think many people struggle with authenticity because we’re constantly shown what seems to excite the masses. Followers, popularity, and recognition can begin to feel like proof that we’re doing something right. Somewhere along the way, we start watering down the very things that make us different because, deep down, we all want to be accepted.
But I’ve learned that being deeply known by the right people is far more fulfilling than being seen by everyone.
There was a season in my life when I tried to fit in because I shared similar experiences with a group of people. I saw who they became after their pain, and I convinced myself that I needed to become that version of myself too. Looking back, it never felt authentic. It felt like an experiment.
Underneath it all, I was scared.
I believed becoming harder would protect me from people with harmful intentions. As more opportunities began opening in my life, I also noticed different kinds of attention finding me. I had a choice to make. I could believe the world was built on survival alone, where everyone was out for themselves, or I could believe there were other ways to live.
I chose the second.
That choice cost me friendships. It created distance between me and people who no longer saw the world the way I did. At the time, it felt lonely. Today, I see it as one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself.
Solitude became my teacher.
I think many of us avoid being alone because silence asks us to face ourselves. It asks us to sit with our choices, our fears, our dreams, and the parts of ourselves we’ve been trying to outrun. That’s uncomfortable work, but it’s also where authenticity begins.
Authentic people are magnetic because they aren’t trying to fit into someone else’s lane. They create one of their own.
You can’t compare someone who has embraced their own style, their own voice, and their own way of moving through the world. They naturally stand apart because they’re not asking for permission to be themselves.
If people are drawn to me, I hope it’s because I remind them of what’s possible. I hope they see someone who dares to do things differently, someone who embraces every version of herself, and someone who believes there is beauty in being wonderfully unexpected.
I’ve always felt a little faerie, a little mischievous, and a little unconventional. I’ve stopped apologizing for that.
If you want to become more authentic, I encourage you to revisit your childhood.
What did you love before you worried about being judged?
What hobby did you hide because someone called it weird?
What part of yourself have you been waiting to reintroduce?
Then, dare yourself to be bold for thirty days.
Wear the outfit.
Start the hobby.
Say what you really think.
Create the thing.
Stop waiting for someone to say, “Let’s normalize this,” or, “We should bring this back.”
You don’t need permission to be yourself.
You only need the courage to find your own frequency.